Something of an Update.Genetic testing came back on the cheek swabs my GP took a couple of weeks ago. Didn't really provide any serious revelations except to confirm what I pretty much knew ten years ago - that Paxil didn't work for me. So...back to the medication roulette wheel once again... Frankly, I'd rather die than gain anymore weight...Sleep doctor's light therapy regimen has me fucked up a bit. I can't begin to imagine how many times I've forgotten to take my meds because his instructions have my internal clock fuckered up six ways from Sunday...And if the next forty years are going to be more of the same in regard to the last twenty years...I don't really want the next forty years. I may be, as my therapist says, a 'survivor', but that's not good enough. If I can't find a way to live then I really don't want this life...
Something of an Update.Life seems to get worse for me the harder I try to correct my issues, whether it's suffering the horrid side-effects of a medication regimen in an attempt to sort out what meds will actually work for my mental health issues, suffering the fallout of the instructions of my sleep doctor in a doomed-to-fail attempt to correct my sleep patterns, or just generally having to wake up every 'day' and muster the strength of will it takes to face the reality that I really have no future and nothing to actually live for. My love of music is all but dead and has been for over a year now, ever since I packed away all my musical equipment after parting ways with someone with whom I fell in love. My love of art seems to be dying as well. I haven't been to the local art center in I don't know how long and I haven't been able to muster the will to paint for at least four months. In fact, all I've managed to do of late, art-wise, is draw some practice sketches from an instructional book I found at a boo
...Just lost a friend to complications from brain surgery...
Prose, November 9th, 2017Am I dying...or am I already dead...? Is that the reason I feel so numb, cut off...so emotionally disconnected from the world around me...? It this merely my body remaining in motion until the proper time comes to drop and become one with the dirt and worms…? Is that the reason I shy away from boredom but have very little will or desire to be anything substantial...because I am already, effectively...dead…?What will the next four or five decades really be worth if my will to be...anything...is permanently buried in the past…? I can know there is a future ahead, and I can know I will ‘live’ to see it but I doubt very much I will have any serious connection to it or a substantial role in it. An anomaly...that’s my fate...nothing more than an anomaly...sucking up resources until the day I drop… A meager leech taking more than I can possibly give because basic survival is the only instinct I have left...What do I really love…? What can I re
I can't believe this shit...This proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Republicans and/or Conservatives should never be allowed to have power -US Preparing to Put Nuclear Bombers On 24-Hour Alert#FuckTrump #KilltheGOPnextelection #DeathtoallWarmongers
A Moment of Poetic Inspiration 7-9-2017My arms feel heavy, as if they have borne a great weight and must now rest. Yet there has been no weight and rest aplenty. The ear hears the sweet harmony of ten-thousand maniacs as I despair at this disconnect from reality. I can only manage a minute or two, a dozen brush strokes at the most. Work is laborious despite the relative ease of it all. And not only in front of the canvas. Showers become impossible as well. Arms and legs struggle under their own weight as I attempt to wash away the grime of the tedious hours, grime that comes so cheap. I struggle to scrub the itch away as upon my head I spread an even cheaper grime. Will it ever truly fade, this itch...? Will I ever beach this disconnect, bridge this divide that leaves me as a museum piece, motionless and hardly regarded as the world moves past, ever faster, increasingly disinterested? Is there any hope for the future...? If there is, it keeps silent in my company, so silent as if to scream silence into my brain; quietly lau
5 Years - What Will The Scraps of Tomorrow Bring?This is just a selection of lesser pieces from my scrapbook that I've posted here on dA in the past five years. I'm feeling as though I'm entering a more productive phase thanks to the medication but I don't yet know what will be posted in the coming months. I do hope to have at least three new BIG pieces done by years' end though. For now, enjoy these almost arts... I only joined dA in the first place to see more of the sexy art of :icongb2k: but my love of art has sustained me through these five years, through all the trials and errors and all the ups and downs my life has seen, and especially through the nausea that caused me to give up on that OTHER social network that caused so much hassle over the minutes and seconds during which I endured its loathsome effect on my life and society...That said, my thanks to all my wonderful dA cohorts for a great roller-coaster of five years, but especially let me recognize :iconsambeawesome: :iconcanankk: :iconpitnerd: :icononeeyedneko: :i
Using OCR in Xubuntu via Cell SnapJust a simple 'How To' on an OCR technique for anyone who might be interested. let me know if you have suggestions for simpler ways to do this -
Fuck Republicans, Fuck ConservativesSo I've just spit a fair amount of well deserved venom at my 'elected' representatives in D.C. - Chuck Grassley, David Young, and absolutely least, the bread bag bitch herself, Joni Ernst. Hope I get a nice, polite but secretly condescending form letter back that basically ignores my concerns as a voter... Here's what I wrote if you're interested -"You and your slimeball cronies in Washington have been itching for a chance to swing your political dicks in the direction needed to remove the best piece of healthcare legislation ever in the history of the U.S. and you deserve every bit of venom coming your way for it. It's bad enough that Governor Dumb-stad screwed the pooch with his idiotic Medicaid privatization plan in the first place, but now you fuckers are going to screw over even more Iowans, who have benefited for the first time ever with the provisions of the ACA, than you liars purport to relieve with whatever stool sample it is that manages to get regurg
EXTENDED Design Contest! [CLOSED]Hello... Is it a contest you're looking for? Well, you see, me and Berry have shipped her OC and Sunrise for years, and we never got a legit family for them... So, because it was herbirthday a few days ago, I decided to make a contest for it! I hope lots of you join, so we can have a lot of Bunrise kiddos!Rules-Don't make them too similar to the parents.-If you were to loose, I still get to keep the character you created.-Don't copy others or use bases, then you won't qualify.Joining-Be my watcher/watch me.-Post a journal linking back to this one.-Create and draw a Bunrise child. (obviously)There is no limit to the amount of ent
Terms of Service - AnniesBy purchasing/selling a design from me in any kind of way, you are choosing to agree to the terms of service below.Failure to read this before a purchase will break the TOS and the rights to purchase.If you break the TOS your Annies will be retracted.I will not be held responsible for any complications.I. TERMS OF SERVICE.When purchasing a design/character from me, such as Annies, you are buying partial rights to a specific character design belonging to my Closed Species.The official design artwork is still my copyright/intellectual property. I have the rights to use the design, its original artwork form for promoting myself and my artwork.Example: Posting it on social media, making and selling tangible items featuring the original design or produce artwork with the original design included for things such as prints, events and artbooks.♣ You may give the design a name, story, Alternative Universe to live in, e
art trades!! (open)h-hewwoi haven't done art trades in 10 yearsaand i wanna get some art of my babies!if you're interested, comment with this form:character you wanna draw: (can be human or anthro!)what type of art you're willing to do: (headshot/halfbody/pixel/etc)what character you'd like ME to draw: (can also be human or anthro)heres a folder of refs to pick from:https://cudlil.deviantart.com/gallery/62245072/refsi'm only going to be picking like.. max 4 people, probably lessi'm trying to keep these to a minimum so i can focus on contest prizes!please don't be offended if i don't pick you ;-;my part will probably be the soft sketchy style i've been drawing in,, so like these:
BRED AND PURCHASED WYNGLING APPROVAL JOURNALWhen should I comment here?Please only comment here if you have one of the following wynglings:You have a bred wynglingYou have purchased a donated designYou have purchased an adoptable wynglingHow do I get it approved?Once you have your deviation submitted, just comment below with a link to your deviation! You can use thumbnails too!Please tell us if you are a new member/this is your first Wyngro! ^__^Your comment will be featured. Featured comments mean your approval is IN PROGRESS. It does NOT mean your Wyngro is approved!A staff member will reply back letting you know if edits are needed, or if your Wyngro is approved!If the approval process takes longer than 2 weeks, you will be asked to reupload the deviation so that the date matches up for upgrade purposes.ONE WYNGRO AT A TIME.What if it’s not approved?
Collective Feature #20Updates: Firstly, I want to thank the anonymous user who gave me a 3-month Premium Membership. I don't use the features much, but I like the journal themes, so thank you! Secondly, I wanted to thank everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday! Being at college, nothing excited happened except classes and work, but I did get to help out at a dodgeball tournament our club hosted, so that was kinda fun. Thirdly, who else enjoyed the 70=80 degree temperatures and gorgeous weather on Friday + Saturday? Cause I know I did! It was short lived (back to rainy, windy, and cool) but I hope you all made the most of it! I drove up to Teatown Reservation to see if there was any growth, but there was very few. They opened up their "Wildflower Island" to the public and I hope to go back in a couple of weeks when things begin to grow more. I already know it's going to be one of those weeks because this morning I burnt a finger on the
Commissions Info[OPEN] 2018 COMMISSIONS GOALS This year is going to be filled with drawings and awesome new goals to achieve Main Quests 100% Completed Portrait Half Body Full Body Side Quests More games F
Price List: Exploring, Diving, CavingItems you find on exploration, caving and diving trips can be redeemed for TT; find how much here.Faded prices indicate the price with the relevant activity's trait applied.Exploration | Tribe Exploration | Caving | DivingExploration = trash item = usable in craftingFound an item that's not here? Check Crafting Items!Candy wrapper10 TT/ 12 TTGlass Shards10 TT/ 12 TTStick10 TT/ 12 TTJellyfish by TokoTimeJellyfish
Commissions: Color: Closed Please read through the journal shown below if interested for a commission. Only accepting USD only, no points still, sorry. Send under goods/services Sketch and color commissions will be uploaded on Sundays unless they are a gift and requested to be posted for a special date. Sketch commissions will now be uploaded in a group, unless they are a gift for someone. I will also link you with a separate copy from sta.sh. If you are paying with points, obviously it's gotta be worth the dollar amount. $1= 80 points ( http://www.deviantart.com/account/points/ ) also, please use the donation pool on my profile if you are using points, just so I can keep track better. SKETCH ONLYPrices listed here [Star!]Check out others who are taking commissions as well~ [Star!] [Star!]:bu
Thomas' Nightmare (Explaination)so I just wanna clear this up for anyone who is confused with the ''thomas' nightmare'' thing.thomas' nightmare isn't tomsworld's main series. instead, thomas' nightmare is actually a separate series I'm working on.fun fact: I actually came up with the ''thomas' nightmare'' thing a couple months ago, but I abandoned the idea and kept working on tomsworld from there.I don't know why?? I had such cool ideas and I just didn't end up using them. Which was kinda dumb of me, sorry..Here's the origins of thomas' nightmare: It started out with this little gif I made. I was watching one of my favorite youtubers play some .EXE games, and it inspired/motivated me to make something like this.people were actually interested in this gif, so some people actually made fanart of a 3 frame gif?? thank you to the ones that made fanart!! that means so much to me. <333and I just kinda slipped away from the whole ''thomas is crying'' thing and went on with tomsworld.
New Tee.Had to replace a tshirt lately so I opted for another design by my compatriot :iconsambeawesome:Though it's a chibi, I make exceptions for the 'no cute' rule when it's something for which I have interest...