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About Varied / Hobbyist J.Male/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
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Statistics 569 Deviations 13,937 Comments 138,063 Pageviews
Am I dying...or am I already dead...? Is that the reason I feel so numb, cut emotionally disconnected from the world around me...? It this merely my body remaining in motion until the proper time comes to drop and become one with the dirt and worms…? Is that the reason I shy away from boredom but have very little will or desire to be anything substantial...because I am already, effectively...dead…?

What will the next four or five decades really be worth if my will to permanently buried in the past…? I can know there is a future ahead, and I can know I will ‘live’ to see it but I doubt very much I will have any serious connection to it or a substantial role in it. An anomaly...that’s my fate...nothing more than an anomaly...sucking up resources until the day I drop… A meager leech taking more than I can possibly give because basic survival is the only instinct I have left...

What do I really love…? What can I really love being so cut-off from everyone and everything I see around me…? Positive emotions seem so hollow...any emotion seems hollow...I feel empty receptacle where nothing can remain save the feeling of emptiness… And yet, I have not the courage to end… Is it rational to want to end in the face of such overwhelming hopelessness…? I can’t answer that question but I do know that to ‘end’ is an answer even if it is not ‘the’ answer.

The endless string of pills and discussion only makes the problem worse, as if I am doomed to constantly fight an uphill battle against the very thing I grow weary of fighting… In effect, me...myself...that is the beast I fight… And the more I fight, the more I fight if every step brings a punch to the gut which sends me two steps back… Maybe it’s a losing battle but the only real question I can ask is ‘Am I dying...or am I already dead…?’


CorSecAgent's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States

Things you may do -

- You are always welcome to browse my art and make critiques or leave constructive feedback if you desire.
- You are welcome to engage me in civil discourse provided you are not simply challenging my positions as a means of (un)intellectual obstruction.

Things you may NOT do -

- If you are a a religious person of any persuasion, you may NOT raise debates. I have made my mind up about religion and I am not interested in hearing your opinions. This includes any New Age BS as well as any form of Deepak Chopra-ish Woo-think.
- Furthermore, you may NOT proselytize in any way. This includes 'just asking questions' as a means to weasel your religious foot in the door.
- Ignorance is not allowed in my sphere of influence. This includes, but is not limited to, Homophobia, Misogyny/Misandry, Racism or overt Bigotry.

Violate these tenets and YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!


"Always remember that you are the artist, the creator. It is your own ego that is being satisfied. It is rewarding if others understand your aim, but it is never your duty to explain it... Have the courage of your conviction--for you will never be happy being anything else." - David Smith

"Nostradamus did for bullshit what Stonehenge did for rocks." - Cecil Adams

"Everyone is born human. No one is born religious. HUMAN RIGHTS come first." (Me)

"Nothing is more dangerous in the wrong hands than faith." (taken from a TV show)

"Opinions are meaningless without credible facts to support them." (Me)

"The line between protecting liberty and enforcing tyranny is measured by the number of jackboots on the ground and sticks in hand." (Me)

Nothing is Popular Without Popular Consent... (Me)


My name is J. I'm a 30-something loon who doesn't quite know where all the pieces fit, nor do I even know if they are all in the box... I'm an Atheist of the Antitheist variety. What this means is that I reject any and all god claims (as an Atheist) and I stand against all expressions of religion within the human sphere (as an Antitheist). Additionally, I am active in my local Atheist scene and support social equality in the broad sense. Anything I can do under the law should be available to all reasonable Americans regardless of circumstance. I take great exception to the notion that bigotry, racism, homophobia and any other defects of the human condition can be justifiable so long as they fall under the aegis (that means shield...) of religious freedom. Also, I would prefer to live in a world where people discuss their social responsibilities and not just the things to which they feel they have a right.

A quote (rather, a paraphrase...) of mine from a recent discussion - "In order for freedom of expression to properly live up to the mission for which it was devised, that of emboldening the human spirit, freedom of religion needs to be curtailed to a certain degree. Basically, I advocate for a prohibition on any acts or deeds in the name of religion that adversely interfere with the dignity of individuals in their everyday lives and the basic humans rights to which they are entitled."


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EintoeRn Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Photographer
:+fav: Thanks a lot, J. !
CorSecAgent Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Sure thing, Ulrich. :handshake:
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